Chemical Ties
by ClumsyMooseProductions
Summary: Roxas' first day at his new school, and already he'd been pulled into some wierd group of misfits with habits of setting things on fire, dyeing their hair in class, and calling him 'blondie'. AkuRoku
1. Day One

**A****/N: **Happy Valentine's Day!

**PERTINENT DETAILS:**

**Title: **Chemical Ties.

**Pairing:** AkuRoku, eventual Zemyx, eventual Cleon, and most likely a side of SoRiku.

**Warnings:** Shonen-ai, language, Xigbar on crack, and a very OOC Ansem. There's a possibility of some eventual shojo-ai as well. This lovely piece of work is… well, it's hard to explain. This first chapter is very long. Very, very, very long. None of the other chapters are going to be this long.

**Dedications: **This chapter is for Julia, Kayla, Jackie, Zara, and all my other readers. Happy Valentine's day, all that jazz. Have fun trying to read all this in one sitting. My friends all know how long it took me to write this crazy thing... oh, lordie. I've been working on this for such a long time. It's rather ridiculous. But I digress. Here's your Valentines, dearies.

**Other Stuff:** I'm sorry, but I am very rarely going to update this. This is one of those crazy epic fics that takes forever to write (at least, I hope it is O.o), and I tend to go back and edit things a million times now. So put this on alert if you wish, and then think nothing more of it until you get the next little email in your inbox.

Anyway, enjoy!

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**Roxas snuck into class, hoping no one would notice he was late. Unfortunately for him, his teacher was apparently slightly insane. 

"Who are you, and how dare you be late to my class—INFIDEL!" the dark-haired man yelled, waving a flower in Roxas' face. "This is AP CHEMISTRY! One cannot forsake the great and awe-inspiring experience that is AP CHEMISTRY! You—wait, who are you? You are not on this list! Your picture appears nowhere on the pre-arranged seating chart! You are a non-entity! You are inhuman. YOU ARE A SPY, ARE YOU NOT?"

The class giggled softly, quickly getting over the pity they had previously felt for the blonde newcomer in favour of semi-sadistic humour.

"N-no, no, I'm not a spy… and this class is on my schedule… are you Professor Leonhart?" Roxas asked, cowering slightly and wondering how quickly he could get to the counsellor's office before the crazy guy with the huge scar on his cheek killed him with a flower.

"Who are you, and how do you know that name?" Leonhart squealed, ducking below his desk.

Roxas groaned. "I'm new this year. Can you just tell me where to sit, please?"

"Where you sit? Where you sit? You dare to have the audacity and… and… and daringness to waltz into my class late and—" the door opened and a man in a suit walked in. "Right this way, Mr.… I'm sorry, what did you say your last name was?"

"I didn't. I'm Roxas Strife."

"Got it memorized, Xiggy?" a boy at the back of the room drawled.

"Wha? You're not… Professor Leonhart?" Roxas sighed with relief. At least he wouldn't have to put up with this crazy idiot for a full year.

The man in the suit strode over to the desk and sat down. "No, he's not. I see you've met my TA, Xigbar. You must be a new student, Mr. Strife. Please, Xigbar, show him to his seat."

Roxas followed Xigbar to a seat at the back of the class, next to the redhead who had called the TA Xiggy. "First day, eh?" the boy said wryly as Roxas sat down.

"No kidding." Roxas grunted, praying that this guy was at least somewhat sane. Somehow he doubted that, considering that the other boy had triangles tattooed beneath his eyes and flame-coloured hair that spiked up in every possible way. Roxas couldn't even imagine how much time this guy must spend in front of a mirror to have his hair look like that… Roxas had given up on his own hair after about the seventh grade.

"The name's Axel." The redhead said, pulling out a lighter and playing with the flame. "Got it memorized?"

"What the hell are you doing?" Roxas yelped, tugging the lighter away from the other boy. "You'll get us both expelled! Are you crazy or something?"

Axel smirked. "Wow. You're so innocent. How cute." He reached over and lightly pinched the other boy's cheek. "Awww, look at that… poor widdle Woxie…"

"Cut it out!" Roxas exclaimed, slapping Axel's hand away. "You ever call me Roxie again, you'll… you'll wish you hadn't."

"Uh-huh." Axel said condescendingly. "What'll you do? Hug me to death? Man, I'm scared. Petrified, even. Ooooh, scary."

"Shut up." Roxas muttered, blushing slightly.

Axel chuckled. "Look at that… widdle baby Woxie's blushing!"

"I said don't call me Roxie!" Roxas exclaimed, his fingers forming fists of their own accord.

"True, you did. You never said Woxie was off-limits, though."

Roxas raised his hand. "Professor Leonhart, can I move seats?"

The dark-haired man turned from the board where he was writing some complex equation. "No."

"Why not?" Roxas yelped indignantly.

Leonhart turned silently back to the board, the barest hint of a smile tugging at his lips.

Roxas slammed his head down on the desk, praying that he would wake up back in his bed in Twilight Town, never having moved to Hollow Bastion.

"So. You're new this year, then." Axel's voice broke into his idyllic daydream.

"So it would seem." Roxas muttered.

Axel looked the blonde boy up and down. "You don't seem like a troublemaker, so I doubt you were expelled from your old school. You're used to teachers actually paying attention when you ask questions, so I'd say you went to a private school. You don't know anyone in this class, so you're a really new student. Your family moved, then?"

Roxas gaped slightly.

"Let me guess. You thought I was just another idiot who sits in the back of the class to avoid participating, and the lighter marked me a delinquent."

"You're smarter than you look, you know that?" Roxas said, his eyes still a bit wider than usual.

Axel cocked his head slightly. "I'm flattered, Roxie."

"You shouldn't be. And don't call me that."

"So, what grade are you in?" Axel asked.

"I'm a freshman." Roxas admitted reluctantly.

Axel's eyes bugged out of his head. "You're a freshman."

"…yes?" Roxas answered tentatively.

"You're a freshman… in AP Chem."

"…yes?"

"Are you serious?"

"…yes?" Roxas said, feeling rather like a broken record.

"Really?"

"YES, FOR GOD'S SAKE, I AM A FRESHMAN IN AP CHEM."

"Mr. Strife, please keep your voice down." Professor Leonhart said, not even looking away from the board. The equation he was writing was now scrawled across the blackboard, the whiteboard, and halfway across the wall, but he didn't seem to care. "Now, can anyone tell me which element this is the electron configuration for? Ah, Axel."

"Meitnerium." The redhead proclaimed, leaning back in his chair and yawning slightly.

"Very good. Now, Mr. Strife, how else could I write this configuration?"

Roxas gaped. "I have no idea."

"If you did have an idea, what would it be?"

"I don't know." Roxas muttered. He wasn't used to teachers just jumping into these subjects, and suddenly felt very ill-prepared for this class. He hadn't taken chemistry per se at his old school, with Chem and Physics moulded into one course that was only a semester long. Sadly, this clearly wasn't adequate preparation.

"That's too bad. Can anyone else help Mr. Strife with this question?" Leonhart turned away, eyes scanning the rest of the classroom. Axel grudgingly raised his hand, and Leonhart's eyes lit up. "Yes, Axel."

"[Rn7s25f146d7 ."

The remaining moments of the class passed in a blur. Professor Leonhart bounced question after question off the students, each one answering promptly and correctly. Roxas stared, wondering how on earth they knew all of this. Clearly he wasn't right for this course. He got up in a daze as the bell rang, gathering the twelve handouts and three worksheets, all of which were due the following day. Glancing at the inch-thick stack of papers, he sighed and shoved them into his backpack. Not bothering to return Leonhart's solemn farewell, he stalked out of class. He was planning to head straight to the counselling office to change out of AP Chemistry before the next class began, but as he turned the corner a sharp yank pulled him back.

"Where do you think you're going, blondie?" Axel queried, a slight smirk twisting the corner of his mouth. "After all, it's your first day—you're allowed to be late. I'd capitalize on that if I were you."

Roxas blinked slightly owlishly. "Well, clearly you're not. I have to go see my counsellor."

"Aw, running to the admin to complain about the big bad redhead in your Chemistry class already?" Axel said disdainfully. He pulled out a lighter again, flicking the flames on and off without even glancing at them.

"No, I'm getting out of AP Chemistry already. There's no way I can handle this."

Axel's eyes widened. "No, don't do that! Stay! Give it at least a week."

"Why do you give a damn what I do? You're just some crazy pyromaniac." Roxas exclaimed.

"Actually, my dear boy," Axel drawled as he draped an arm around the shorter boy's shoulders, "The term is _flame-connoisseur_."

"Bullshit. And get your arm off me."

"Okay, so there's no actual term for it—"

"Other than PYROMANIAC?" Roxas interjected.

"Other than that. Besides, I'm not a maniac… I just like flames."

"Clearly, an obsession with flames shows no signs of mania." Roxas said sarcastically.

Axel grinned wryly. "Glad to see we understand each other so well." He started to speak again, but the bell drowned him out before Roxas heard anything. The shorter boy groaned.

"…Heartilly is going to kill me."

"Oh, you have Heartilly next?" Axel asked.

"Clearly." Roxas muttered.

"Oh, I have Norrington. Don't worry… they're right next to each other. I can take you there. Which class is it?"

Roxas braced himself for the barrage of 'Freshman? AP? Really?', then said "AP World History."

"Oh, okay." Axel said, brows furrowing in thought. "You'll be with… well… I don't think that I know anyone in that class other than Demyx, and I'm not entirely sure that I want to admit that I know him."

"Just show me the damn class, will you?" Roxas snapped.

"Whoa, okay! It isn't far… just follow me." Axel turned on his heel and sauntered off in the other direction. The pair walked on in silence, Roxas having to take two steps for every one of Axel's and hating every second of it. Exactly 32 of Axel's steps (and 64 of Roxas') later, Axel stopped suddenly. Roxas was too busy ranting mentally about people with long legs to notice, and crashed into Axel's back.

"Heartilly. Room 309. Have fun!"

Roxas grunted in response as Axel popped into the class next door—AP Calculus. Apparently science wasn't the only thing Axel was good at, Roxas admitted begrudgingly to himself. He sighed and opened the door to room 309. He so _loved _history. Not. Ms. Heartilly didn't even glance up as he shut the door behind him, instead standing silently at the front of the class, eyes half lidded, and swaying back and forth slightly.

Suddenly her eyes snapped open, and a small smile spread across her face. She smoothed down the blue… outfit… she was wearing, then looked up at the class. "Okay, everyone! Welcome to AP World History! This is going to be a great year, I think… just have a seat wherever you want and we'll get started. I'm Ms. Heartilly, but you can just call me Rinoa. So, as you'll remember from last year…"

"Strike one." Muttered Roxas.

"What?" chirped the blonde seated next to him.

"And last year, you…" Rinoa said happily.

"Strike two."

The boy next to him glanced over again, confusion evident on his face. "Huh?" He had the strangest haircut Roxas had ever seen, stranger even than Axel's or his own. It stuck straight up on top in a way that defied gravity, then sort of narrowed down closer to his head in the back and along the sides. It was like a mohawked mullet—Roxas' vocabulary seemed to escape him when it came to words to describe this crazy look.

"And remember the projects you did for your finals?" Rinoa gushed. "Well, those…"

"Strike three…" Roxas growled.

"Let's start this again, okay?" the blonde mul-hawk said nervously. "I'm Demyx. What's your name? Are you new?"

"Oh, god." Roxas muttered. The one kid he'd been warned against, and he just had to sit down right next to the bastard. "You're Demyx?" he asked, ignoring the blonde's queries. "Yup! Demyx, number 9, at your service."

Roxas blinked. "…number 9? What the hell does that mean?"

Demyx sighed. "Oh. I guess you haven't met Xemnas yet.

"Who?"

"Xemnas!" Demyx said the name like everyone should know it, and Roxas was an idiot for not recognizing Xemnas' importance immediately. Clearly, Chemistry wasn't the only thing he had to catch up in. "He started the Organization."

"…what the hell?" Roxas sputtered, completely confused. He didn't know whether Demyx was talking about a movie, a teacher, or some figment of his imagination. He was starting to wonder why exactly Axel had warned him away from this boy, and whether he should be running in terror from this crazy school.

"Organization Thirteen! Although we've only got twelve members… you should be the thirteenth! What's your name again?"

"Um, I'm Roxas." the shorter boy said, wondering how quickly he could get out of the classroom in the event that Demyx went insane… er.

"Oh, that's great! You've got an X in your name! You'll fit in fine! Which classes do you have?"

Roxas felt as though his head had become slightly loose on his neck and was spinning back and forth of it's own accord, though anyone looking at him would have thought he was just a normal boy zoning out in class. He silently handed Demyx his schedule, not realizing what a bad idea that probably was until his hand had fallen back to his side.

"Oh, god, you've got Norrington next… hey, so do I! And we've got PE together, too… great! I think the rest of the Organization has PE that same period… Xigbar got us out of PE for a few years, but this year they're really cracking down on us and making us all take PE… some crap about graduation requirements, but who really cares? It's going to be nice, actually. Of course, Vexen won't have that class with us because they have him teaching here, even though he's technically a senior without a teaching certificate or anything, but who really cares? Anyway…" Roxas' brain overloaded with all of the information Demyx was spouting, and noted vaguely that he had no idea what the taller blonde was talking about. He didn't listen to anything the other boy said for a while, but snapped to attention when he heard Axel's name mentioned.

"Axel? What about him?"

"Oh, you know Axel already? That's great! Axel's…." Demyx trailed off. It was the first time he'd been silent since they'd introduced themselves (or rather, Demyx had introduced himself) and Roxas knew that that couldn't be a normal thing.

"What? Axel's… what?" Roxas asked, wondering if Axel was the one he should have been warned against.

"Nothing. He's nice."

Roxas would have pressed Demyx for more information, but Rinoa called the class to attention. "Okay, everyone… I'd like you to read pages 45 through 78 in your books tonight, and please take notes if you have time. I'll see you all tomorrow!"

"Come on, let's go!" Demyx said, tugging at Roxas' hand. "If we hurry, we can say hi to Axel before he heads off!"

Roxas didn't particularly know why he would _want_ to say hi to Axel, but followed Demyx out of the classroom without much protest before he realized that his hand had been kidnapped by the taller boy. He yanked his hand back, then furtively glanced around to see if anyone had noticed another boy had been holding his hand. He then realized that no one cared.

He was about to walk into the next classroom over when a hand rested on his shoulder and gently turned him around. "What, no greeting for a poor tired redhead? I'm insulted. And here I thought I was your first friend here…" Axel teased gently. "Did you survive Demyx? Well, clearly you did… my actual question; did you survive Demyx with any remaining brain cells?"

"He seems… exuberant?" Roxas said. "Why did you warn me against him?"

Axel chuckled. "Exuberant is one way to put it. And I didn't warn you against him… I just said that I shouldn't have let on that I knew him."

"Oh." Roxas said quietly. "You know, I have to go. Bye!" He fled awkwardly into the classroom, having just noticed that Axel's hand hadn't moved from his shoulder. And that he hadn't really minded all that much. At his old school, they would have called him a fag and most likely roughed him up just for the events of the past five minutes. He guessed he would have to get used to this school... so far, he didn't think it was going to be all that hard.

And then Mr. Norrington turned around. "Class, come to order." The class immediately fell silent, and even Demyx turned around in his chair to look at the teacher. Norrington was a tall man, with a slightly old-fashioned style of dress that made him look older than he really was.

"'To err is human', is it not?" Norrington proclaimed, pacing in front of the class with his hands tucked behind his back. Roxas nodded, though the rest of the class didn't respond in any way. "It may be so, but my goal is to beat the humanity out of you until you no longer err."

Roxas shrank down in his seat slightly.

"Not literally, of course, as corporal punishment was outlawed years ago."

Roxas heaved a sigh of relief, and sat up straight again.

"However, you will be challenged in this class. This is not a walk in the park. This is Geometry. I will grade this class on a pass/fail basis… if you receive an A in this class, you pass—anything below, you fail. In the event that you do fail, you will retake this course with me until you pass. Good to see you again, Larxene. Is this our third anniversary, or have we passed that glorious year already?"

"Oh, sweetie, I'm insulted. You think you could forget a year with _moi_? No. Three years and counting." said a blonde girl sitting in the front row. "Actually, I'm quite surprised you haven't passed me just to be rid of me. Isn't that something you'd do…_James_?

Norrington narrowed his eyes and glanced around the rest of the class. "If any of you dare to follow the example this female sets, I shall guarantee you will spend the rest of your high school career in this math class. Are we clear?"

He proceeded to take advantage of the ominous silence to lecture the class about geometric proofs, which Roxas had studied the year before. Finally, something he could actually do. He finished his work early, then just stared out of the window. The bell woke him from his daze, and he jerked awake with a start. Demyx had been silent the whole period, but the second he pulled him out of the classroom Roxas' eardrums began to ache with the never-ending stream of words. He completely ignored the other boy, then realized he had no idea where his next class was or how to get there.

"Demyx, where's Ms. Lockhart's room?" Roxas asked, breaking into Demyx's monologue.

"—and then someone tried to shave off Xaldin's sideburns, and everyone blamed Zexion, but let me tell you… oh, we just passed it, here, just turn around and it's three doors back on the right. Have fun, and I'll see you seventh period for PE! Bye!" Demyx grabbed Roxas in a quick hug, then dashed off to assault some other innocent's eardrums. Roxas gaped at the blonde's retreating back, then quickly got to his third period.

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**Hi there!**

I'm your authoress, by the way, and I'd like to take a moment here to introduce myself. Give you a break from reading all those important and complex sentences, all that jazz. Maybe give you an opportunity to go to the bathroom, refill your popcorn, or get some Milk Duds. I've always liked Milk Duds.

I'd like to share an amusing anecdote with you, actually. I took this quiz that told you whether you were a seme or uke, and I ended up taking the picture from my result and posting it on my Myspace and kind of going with that whole thing, just because I'm cool like that. ANYWAY. So I was showing my mom my profile, and she was like "Badass… you-ke? What does that mean?"

So I basically got to explain the difference between uke and seme to my mother. That was very interesting. Honestly, though, I love my mom. I have her proof all my non-smutty stuff. She's amazing.

**And now, back to your regularly scheduled entertainment!**

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"Fuu, I don't care whether or not your syllabus is grammatically accurate—it's a checklist, for god's sake!" Ms. Lockhart was saying as Roxas walked through the door. He assumed she was Ms. Lockhart, at least… he couldn't quite pull his eyes up from her chest long enough to tell how old she was. "Sit down, Fuu, I have to actually teach a class now."

"DISGRACE." muttered the silver-haired girl—Fuu? as she took a seat.

Roxas still couldn't move his eyes, and attempted to sit down without changing the location of his head at all. Some idiot behind him took advantage of the situation to pull his chair out from beneath him, and he fell hard on the linoleum. Part of him wondered why there was carpet in the chemistry lab and linoleum in an English classroom, but a larger part of him wondered if he'd broken his tailbone or not. A very small part of him wondered if somehow Ms. Lockhart had stuffed two beach balls down her shirt that morning by mistake.

She sat down at her desk and flipped open her laptop, and suddenly Roxas could think again. Looking at her face, he realized she was a few years older than Ms. Heartilly, though that didn't mean very much. "Hey, everyone, shut up. Roll call."

The class didn't change in the slightest.

Ms. Lockhart stood up again, and the room fell silent apart from a few girls in the corner. The boys (and most of the girls) were staring at her… assets. She rolled her eyes and walked up to the front of the room. "Fujin?"

"FUU." the girl said adamantly.

"Riku?"

"Here," a silver-haired boy in the back of the class responded arrogantly. Roxas wondered idly if Riku dyed his hair or was just a genetic freak. Judging by the smug smirk currently located on his face, he was guessing the former.

"Seifer? Wait, no, never mind. I heard your melodious tones the moment you walked in the school. Good to have you back." Ms. Lockhart said sarcastically.

"It's good to _be _back," drawled Seifer. Roxas turned to see a boy seated between Fuu and the other boy—clearly he was some sort of leader. A reddish scar ran across the bridge of his nose, and he had a sort of grim determination that shook Roxas slightly.

"Zexion?"

"Here." Whispered the boy next to Roxas.

"Is Zexion not here?" Ms. Lockhart said, looking around the room. The boy raised his hand silently, and waited for Ms. Lockhart to notice him.

"You're Zexion?"

He nodded silently in response.

"Uh, okay, let's see… Roxas?"

"Here." Roxas said, still looking at the boy next to him. Hadn't Demyx mentioned a Zexion? He couldn't picture these two being friends, though—Demyx would drive the silent boy insane.

"Raijin?"

"Y' know, I go by Rai." Seifer's darker flunky said.

Roxas completely zoned out as the rest of the names were called. And for most of the class, really. It amazed him how simplistic honors classes were at this school. And quite honestly, he was surprised at some of the kids in his class.

"Look, you guys should all know this by now. Do you seriously not know what a conjunction is? Well, that's a problem. Can any of you sophomores tell me what a conjunction is? Maybe? Please?" Roxas raised his hand, careful not to look up too far. "Yes, you. The blonde one. I'm sorry… it may take me a very long time to learn all of your names if this is the first year I've had you."

"A conjunction creates a bridge between two separate clauses and puts them together in one sentence."

"Excellent… Roxas?"

"Yes, that's me." Roxas said, praying she wouldn't ask him why he was a freshman in a sophomore English class.

"You're a freshman?" Ms. Lockhart said, a slight note of awe in her voice.

Roxas resisted the urge to bang his head on the wall, then muttered in agreement.

The rest of the class had no such note of awe in their voices as they grumbled angrily about freshman being in too many advanced classes.

"OUTRAGE." Fuu said angrily.

"It's just makes the rest of us feel stupid, y'know?" claimed a darker skinned boy sitting behind Roxas.

"And we can't have that, now, can we?" said Seifer clearly.

"EXACTLY." Fuu muttered.

"That's just unfair, y'know?"

"Fuu, Rai, please be quiet. Seifer, I'm not putting up with you acting like this again."

"I'm merely trying to express my opinion, Ms. Lockhart. Is that some sort of problem?"

"When it's you? Most definitely."

The rest of the class progressed in the same general manner—Zexion was silent, Seifer was sarcastic, Fuu was never said more than one word at a time, Rai framed every sentence with y' know, Riku sat smugly in the back of the class and ignored everything around him, and Roxas felt remarkably like beating his head against a wall. At least Ms. Lockhart was a pretty good teacher—she was obviously frustrated with both the excessive amounts of teenage hormones in the room and with Seifer, but overall she seemed fairly decent.

Roxas got up and stretched as the bell rang, yawning slightly. Three more periods… god, why couldn't he be homeschooled?

"So, you're a freshman." Said a voice from behind him.

Roxas gritted his teeth. "Yes, for god's sake, I am a freshman. I'm in all advanced classes, okay? I honestly don't care what you say at this point, I am really a freshman, I was not held back, I'm just smart. That answer your question?" He turned to see the silver-haired boy from Lit, Riku.

"Which classes?" Riku asked tersely.

Roxas squinted slightly, trying to remember his schedule. "Uh, AP Chem, AP World, Geometry, Sophomore Lit, French 2, Art & Design, PE. Happy now?"

"Shit." Riku muttered. "Shit, shit, shit."

"…what?" Roxas asked.

"You'd better not get in my way, you hear me?" Riku said, pulling Roxas' closer to him. Roxas suddenly felt very short.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I'm a freshman. I'm in nearly all the same classes as you, though we have them at different times. I'm going to be valedictorian, I'm going to graduate first in my class. Do you hear me? You're not getting in my way, no matter what you think." Riku hissed.

"…what?"

"I'm going to beat you out, blondie." Riku smirked. "We clear on that?"

Roxas grunted and turned away. He'd had it with being called blondie.

"Now, now, don't you walk away from me when I'm talking to you. Besides, we've got French together next—it'd just be a shame if we had to miss out on each other's company on the walk there." Riku said scornfully as he turned and walked away.

Roxas shook his head disparagingly, then turned and walked to French the opposite direction. It took him a bit longer, but he didn't have to put up with Riku. Somehow he thought the tradeoff was worth it. Of course, that was before he got to the classroom. Riku was already there, laughing pretentiously at some French joke the teacher had just told him. Roxas shook his head once more, then sat down at an empty table.

"Hi!" chirped a girl as she sat down across from him. She had short black hair and one of the oddest outfits Roxas had ever seen, comprised mainly of brightly coloured items of clothing that didn't go together at all that were then topped off with a bright orange hat with cat ears attached. "What's your name?"

"I'm Roxas."

"And I'm the great ninja Yuffie! Nice to meet you, Roxas. What can I do you for?"

"What grade are you in?" Roxas asked, trying to avert his eyes from the spectacle that was her outfit.

"I'm a sophomore. Been trapped in this hellhole for a year already, but somehow I survived to come back for a second. My parents were so proud… and you, blondie?"

"Don't call me that." Roxas muttered, though inwardly he'd already given up. Everyone seemed to like to give the short freshmen cute nicknames, no matter how mad aforementioned short freshman got. Actually, they seemed to like that more anyway. Freaking sadists.

"Mmmkay, Roxie." Yuffie drawled.

"…you're friends with Axel, aren't you?" Roxas asked.

"Yup. You're lucky you've got him looking out for you—he's a good guy. He doesn't pay attention to most people—especially not freshmen who've never had anything to do with the Organization. So tell me, Roxas, what's so special about you?" Yuffie asked, propping her chin up on her hands.

"I don't know. Bad karma?" Roxas quipped.

"Mmmm. That's possible. After all, you did get stuck in the same class as Riku."

Roxas rolled his eyes. "Trust me, I know. He's in my Lit class as well."

"Ouchhhh." Yuffie said sympathetically. "I thought he was in sophomore lit this year?"

"Yeah, he—wait, how do you know that?" Roxas stopped mid-sentence, slightly confused.

Yuffie shrugged. "You see Sora, the brown-haired kid sitting next to him? The one whose outfit is a visual travesty? Yeah, he's my neighbour. I've known him since he was born. Not that I remember all that, but we grew up together."

Roxas hid a smile—Yuffie calling anyone's outfit a virtual travesty was really a bit too much. "And so you know Riku… how?"

"Dammit, Roxie, I just told you!" Yuffie exclaimed.

"Palulay fran-say, see-vou-play." yelled the worst French accent Roxas had ever heard. He winced slightly and looked around for the source before realizing that it was in fact the teacher.

"…what?" Yuffie asked in a highly confused manner.

"Palu-li-la-la-lulu fran-say."

« Excusez-moi, professeur ? » Riku asked. Roxas smirked. He might actually be able to put up with this insane teacher, especially if he saw the stupidly confused look on Riku's face a bit more often.

"Parlili?"

"What the hell?" a boy from the back of the class yelled.

The teacher rolled his eyes slightly, then got up from his desk. Staggering to the front of the room, he pulled a bottle of Evian out from behind the projector and eyed it suspiciously. Finding no fault with the water, he took a generous swig. "Parsnip… parsley… partner… partner…"

"…Parlez?" Roxas asked tentatively.

"Parley! That's the one!" exclaimed the teacher, taking another sip from the Evian bottle as he mangled the French pronunciation. Roxas had to wonder what exactly was in said bottle… it obviously wasn't water. And this man clearly wasn't French in the slightest.

"Now, my name is Captain Jack Sparrow. I do not speak le fran-say. You will not tell anyone of this," proclaimed the strange man as he paraded across the room with his trusty Evian bottle in hand. "Now, are we clear?"Riku raised his hand, an arrogant smirk having once again taken over his face.

"Yes, you there, with the pansy hair. What's your problem?"

"Mr. Sparrow—"

"Captain, lad, captain. I'm Captain Jack Sparrow, savvy?"

Riku rolled his eyes. "CaptainSparrow, why are you teaching French 2 if you _don't speak a word of French_?"

"Well, lad, I suppose I will have to answer your question with another question. _Why is the rum always gone_?" whispered Sparrow, shoving his face

Riku stammered slightly, thrown off guard by the unorthodox question.

"There's your answer, lad. Now, for the rest of the class, do whatever the hell you want to." He staggered back over to his desk and slumped down in the seat, pulling his hat down over his eyes. Gentle snores were quickly heard from the general vicinity of the hat, and the class resumed their earlier conversations.

"So…." Roxas asked Yuffie. "How do you know Riku, then?"

"Riku is Sora's… best friend. Along with Kairi. I know them all." Yuffie responded, dragging out the pause before 'best friend' just long enough to throw some doubt on the veracity of their friendship but not enough to warrant it's own line of questioning.

Roxas then realized that he spent way too much time analyzing what went on around him. Yuffie yammered on for the rest of the period, and all he had to do to keep her happy was smile and nod every so often (or possibly go 'Yeah, sure, definitely,' occasionally). Finally the bell interrupted her, and Roxas staggered out of class. She must have been raised in the same asylum as Demyx—she talked as much, possibly even faster. The only clear difference between the two was that Yuffie breathed every so often. Roxas still couldn't figure out how Demyx survived without breathing—maybe his pores took in air, like fish's gills.

Or maybe Roxas was just insane for trying to apply logic to Demyx. He shook his head and chuckled slightly, then wandered over to the cafeteria. Looking at the absurdly long lines, he gave up on getting lunch any time this year. He never thought he would be glad that Cloud had been so insistent about him taking a decent lunch, and made a mental note to thank the older blonde when he got home. Upon opening his so-called decent lunch, however, he found a squished banana and a stale bagel, which would clearly not be sufficient.

Roxas sighed and walked over to the lunch line, waiting for what seemed like an eternity before the first grumpy lunchlady threw a piece of pizza on his Styrofoam tray and pointed a fat finger at the checkout stand. Apparently Cloud had forgotten to put money in his account, and so he held up the entire line as he dug through his pockets searching for an extra few dollars.

As he finally got away from the line he went to go sit down in the courtyard outside, but was quickly thwarted by Axel and Demyx. The two came up behind him and simultaneously attempted to drape their arms across his shoulders, just like nearly every other person at this crazy school had. Of course, considering that Roxas' shoulders were fairly slender and that two arms didn't exactly fit, this failed miserably.

**

* * *

****Hello again!**

If you're anything like me, you've probably run out of Milk Duds by now. I'd recommend getting some more, or maybe a soda to wash them down with. Unless you're a health nut. In that case, you may want some more sesame seed crackers and hummus. I quite like hummus, actually. It doesn't go with AkuRoku very well, though… it kind of gives you bad breath. And bad breath AkuRoku... not amazingly glorious.

AkuRoku by itself is very lovely, though. As is Zemyx, Cleon, SoRiku, and any other number of pairings from Kingdom Hearts. Seriously, most genius game ever.

Don't you agree?

**Goodbye again!**

**

* * *

**

"You're not trying to get away from us, are you?" Axel asked as he removed Demyx's arm from Roxas' shoulders.

Roxas rolled his eyes. "No, of course not, you've mistaken me for my sane twin."

"Oh, good. Sane twins are overrated, and should probably be kept tied up in closets." Axel drawled.

Demyx—having given up on Roxas' shoulders as an armrest—skipped merrily ahead to an overflowing table. "Hey, everyone, look at this! We found Roxas!"

A few solitary members glanced up, then realized that Demyx was the one speaking and returned to their conversations. Roxas knew approximately no one, other than the silent boy from Lit. Zexion. And of course Demyx and Axel, though he had yet to determine whether or not this was a good thing.

A small, harried-looking man stepped up to the stage at the base of the cafeteria. "Please, everyone! Don't move the tables together! It's very inconsiderate of our janitorial staff! We can't have a scene on the first day!" he squealed into the microphone. People paid less attention to this man than they had to Demyx, if that was even possible.

"Hey, everyone, get some more tables. We've got too many people for just two this year." Axel proclaimed, the table falling silent as he did so. Demyx pouted slightly as everyone scooted back and made room to add on more of the square tables, then returned to his usual bouncy self and helped push the tables together. "Oh, and everyone, this is Blondie."

"It's Roxas, dammit!" Roxas yelped.

"So, Roxas-dammit, is today your first day here?" asked another one of the silver hair dyers/genetic freaks who populated the school.

"Roxas. Not Roxas-dammit, not Blondie, not Roxie, not Woxie. Roxas." He muttered in what he hoped was a calm and firm voice. "And yes, it is. I'm a freshman."

"Fascinating," the older boy said. "Xemnas. Number 1. This is 2, Xigbar; 3, Xaldin; 4, Vexen; 5, Lexaeus; 6, Zexion; 7, Saїx; of course, you know Axel, 8, and Demyx, 9. Ten is Luxord; 11, Marluxia; 12, Larxene…"

"What he's not telling you," added Axel, "Is that no one actually calls him Xemnas."

Roxas looked up at the other boy, suddenly feeling very short. Even with Axel slouching he was still about 6 inches shorter. "Do you all go by numbers?"

"No. We call him Mansex." Axel said, examining Roxas' face for his reaction.

"..."

Xemnas stood up. "And on that note, I bid you adieu. Roxas, do not let their lies sully your opinion of me. Saix?" Saix nodded silently and followed Xemnas out of the cafeteria.

"Hey, sweet, chairs. Come on, Roxas." Axel pulled out the recently vacated chairs and slumped down in one, offering Roxas the other. Roxas was still a little scared, but figured that as long as Mansex was gone he should be safe for the time being.

And then Axel's arm took over his shoulders again. Roxas squirmed slightly but didn't say anything. "So, Xemnas' introduction was slightly lacking. Everyone, fill him in on the last few years."

The resulting clamour from the table drowned out most of the cafeteria, but most of the voices quickly died down. Demyx was the only one to continue, his ramblings seeming to have no end. When everyone turned to stare at him, he trailed off.

"Wait, why do you call Xemnas ...Mansex?" Roxas asked suddenly.

Axel chuckled slightly. "If you rearrange the letters in his name, you get Mansex. And, of course, there's always Saix."

"...what?" Roxas asked.

"Hey, Zexion, give me my pudding back!" Demyx squealed randomly.

"Where did you find this one?" Larxene asked condescendingly. "He's too cute. It's been a while since we've had anyone to corrupt."

"Who knows?" Axel said, leaning back in his chair. "He just showed up in AP Chem this morning with the same naïve expression he has on right now."

"He's in AP chem?" Xigbar asked as Demyx tackled Zexion in a vain attempt to get his pudding back.

Roxas blinked. This crazy guy was the TA for his class, wasn't he? He'd accosted him the moment he entered the classroom, and he'd now forgotten about him? That almost hurt. Well, almost.

Axel caught the pudding cup that Zexion tossed him and threw it at Xigbar, though it harmlessly bounced off of the spastic's head before Demyx leapt up to catch it. "That wasn't very nice…" Demyx pouted. "Now you won't get any pudding, Zexy. You're too mean to deserve pudding, anyway."

"You guys are all freaks." Roxas said, pushing his chair back and walking over to the trashcan with his lunch tray. "I'm out of here."

"Aww, Roxie, don't go…" Axel said plaintively.

Roxas wandered away from the table, head whirling at how crazy Axel's friends were. They couldn't possibly be as weird as they seemed, but… something told him they probably were. The bell rang as he walked out into the corridor, and he realized he had no idea where he was going. Art & Design, with Ansem.

He was just about to pull out his handy-dandy pocket map when Axel came up behind him. "You know, you've ruined my appetite for the rest of the day." Axel said, gesturing dramatically. "The look on Xigbar's face when you walked away… it was tragic. Tragic, I tell you. We spent the last fourteen seconds of lunch crying in memoriam of the excellent time we spent in your glorious presence, O Roxas of mine."

"Whatever. Where's room 172?"

Axel sighed. "I suppose that's all I'm to expect from you… so much pain and suffering, for all my hard work and leadership. Two rights, then a left. And now I must bid you adieu…" Axel trailed off climactically, pressing the back of his hand to his forehead.

"Yeah, bye, see you later." Roxas said absentmindedly, following Axel's directions as best he could. He managed to end up in what seemed like a general art room-like area. He didn't recognize anyone so far, but there were still a few minutes to go until the final bell rang.

"And then Riku just started speaking French to the guy, and he acted like he knew every word! It was hilarious. Our teacher is such a nutjob. Anyway, I'm Sora, and this is Riku n' Kairi."

"I'm Namine. It's nice to meet you, Sora."

Roxas groaned as he realized that he and Riku had three classes in a row together, and knowing his luck they'd be in the same PE class as well. The new girl, Namine, she didn't look that bad, but then neither did Axel or Xigbar. Looks really could be deceiving.

"Well now, everyone, do you consider yourselves artists?" A tall man in an exceedingly odd costume pranced into the room

The students looked at each other, wondering what exactly they were supposed to answer. "I asked you a question, students! Do you or do you not consider yourself artists?"

"Well…"

"Uh…"

"If you…"

"A simple yes or no would suffice." Ansem said loudly, the class' chatter coming to an end abruptly.

Namine raised her hand, smiling shyly. "I… I'm an artist, sir."

"Why?"

"I beg your pardon?" Namine's voice was even quieter than before.

Ansem walked over to her table, slamming a hand down on the desk. "Why? Why are you an artist?"

"I… I draw things?"

"Is that a question or is it a statement?"

"I draw things. I'm an artist." She said it with some conviction this time, but she still didn't sound entirely convinced.

Ansem sat down in a chair that seemed to pop out of nowhere, slamming his head down on the table. "Is that the only way you can be an artist?"

Riku rolled his eyes. "Of course. You can't be an artist if you can't draw… that's just a basic."

"Wrong!" Ansem pushed away from the desk, rolling across the room in the swivel chair. He slid over to his desk, picking up a flute along the way. He blew a few random notes on it, and Roxas winced slightly. Clearly the crazy man was not a crazy man gifted with musical talent. "Are those who create music not called musical artists?"

Roxas raised his hand grudgingly, and Ansem whirled around instantly. "Yes, you, you with the sticky-uppy blonde hair."

"Well, anyone who creates something would be an artist, wouldn't they?" _I have to wonder if this school creates the lunatics or just attracts them… it's either that, or my teachers were always this way. Oh, god. "_Anyone who is inspired by the world around them and then expresses themselves or puts their inspiration in a tangible form is an artist."

"Wow, Roxie, you're more eloquent than I thought!" Axel proclaimed from behind him. Roxas whipped his head around to see Axel smiling down at him. The blonde rolled his eyes dramatically, turning his back to the redhead once again.

Ansem jumped to his feet, walking over to Axel and clapping him on the back. "Axel." The costumed man declared, beaming at the redhead. How exactly he beamed with his face covered in red bandages remained to be seen, but... details. "Class, this is Axel. He is a true artist. I'll offer twenty points of extra credit to the person who can get a list of all the awards Axel has received for his work in his past three years here at Hollow Bastion."

"Not that I'll tell any of you that." Axel grinned. "Except maybe dear Roxie here. Actually, I've got a note for him. Rox, Mr. Valentine wants to see you."

Ansem stalked over to face Roxas, glaring at the seated boy. "Mr…" he paused here, looking to Axel.

"Strife." Axel supplied, nodding at Roxas.

"Mr. Strife, you will write a dissertation on your thoughts of what makes an artist and present it to the class tomorrow to make up for your absence for the remainder of this period. Understood?"

"Uhh…" _What the hell is he talking about?_

"That'll be fine, Ansem. He'll get that done for tomorrow," Axel answered for him. "Right, Roxas?"

Roxas nodded silently, gathering his things and getting up from his stool. "Yeah, sure."

"Very well then. Now, I would like you all to pull out your sketchbooks…" Ansem's voice grew distant as Roxas and Axel exited the art room.

"So… who the hell is Mr. Valentine?" Roxas said, looking at Axel out of the corner of his eye.

Axel laughed, his head tilting back as he did so. Roxas smiled despite himself… Axel's laugh was infectious, really. "Mr. Valentine is your counsellor, and I must say that in that respect I pity you slightly."

The two continued on in silence for a moment longer, Roxas feeling amazingly victimized and slightly insane for ever agreeing to moving to Hollow Bastion. "Uh… why?"

"What?" Axel asked suddenly, turning to the shorter boy. "I'm sorry, I wasn't exactly paying attention."

"Why would you pity me for having Mr. Valentine as a counsellor?"

Axel sighed, running a hand through the spikes of his hair. "It's… it's hard to explain. You haven't met him yet. You'll understand once you meet him. He's my counsellor too, you know."

"Mmmm." Returning to the silence of a moment before, they passed a few more corridors. Roxas suddenly realized that he had no idea where anything in this crazy school was, let alone the counsellor's office. "So."

"What?"

"…where the hell is Valentine's office?"

"Oh, it's by where you picked your schedule up this morning." Axel said after a moment. "Just go into the office labelled 'Counselling Center' and ask for Valentine. I'll see you later, Roxas." He seemed slightly out of it all of a sudden, but Roxas didn't bother to ask what was going on.

"Thanks." Roxas waved half-heartedly at Axel's retreating back, but the redhead was already around another corner. Something had suddenly put the older boy in a funk, and he had no idea what. Axel didn't really seem like he was prone to bizarre mood swings. At least, not from the six hours of their acquaintance so far. Really, he wasn't in any place to be saying whether this was normal or not, but… still. Something seemed a bit off.

Roxas came to a halt in front of the counselling center door, then just kind of stood there for a moment. He realized he had absolutely no idea why Valentine had called him in. Oh well.

He slunk into the office, eyes roving over the names on the doors until he found the one whose plaque read 'Valentine'. He knocked once, and a husky voice told him to come in.

"Uhhh… Mr. Valentine?" Roxas said cautiously, poking his head into the room. It was decorated almost entirely with red draperies that looked like velvet, the only light coming from a computer screen in the far corner. A huddled figure was seated in front of the computer.

Roxas gulped. No wonder Axel had said this guy was a little… peculiar. Or something along those lines.

"Are you Roxas Strife?" The man asked, turning from his monitor to face the door. "Please, have a seat."

"Oh, no, I'm fine, thanks." Roxas said awkwardly, stepping inside the room but leaving the door open a bit in case he had to bolt suddenly. "So, uh… how are you?"

"I am fine. How are you handling your schedule so far? You and Riku are both working with very challenging courseloads this year, and I would hate to see either of you… fall behind."

_He's playing us against each other. _Roxas realized all of a sudden.

"I understand you are taking Leonhart's AP Chem class and Norrington's Geometry class. I don't know if Squall mentioned it, but AP Chem is also graded on a pass/fail basis—only those with A's or above will pass the class."

"…above?" Roxas queried. "How the—I mean, there's nothing above an A, is there?"

"No, of course not. How silly of me." Valentine said, typing a few words into his computer and bringing up a new window. "You may go, Mr. Strife."

**

* * *

****O.o**

I just realized that these things are sort of like an odd combination between author's notes and those side panels in mangas where the authors get to ramble on about whatever they want. Like in Furuba especially, when she starts rambling on about the Final Fantasy games. Personally, though, I think Final Fantasy VIII is probably the best of the series. I did adore FFVII, but… come on, man, VIII has Squall. And Seifer. And Rinoa. And Quistis. And Zell. And Fujin and Raijin and Edea and…

sigh

Reno and Cloud and Sephiroth, Tifa and Aeris/Aerith, too… man, this sucks! Based on the characters, I'll never be able to decide which one I like better. I really wish they'd put Reno in KH, actually. Although then people would be confused by the whole Reno vs. Axel thing. I read a fanfic about that once, actually. ANYWAY. VII was quite amazing. I do like the plot for VIII better, though. And so, in conclusion…

**Final Fantasy**** [in general for the win!**

**

* * *

**Roxas exited the room gladly, catching a bit of velvet in the door as he shut it. That room was extremely creepy, no two ways around it. Hopefully he wouldn't be in there very often… there hadn't really seemed to be a purpose for Valentine calling him in this time, though, so who knew what the counsellor would be calling him in for. 

He still had about fifteen minutes left before his next class began, but for some odd reason he didn't feel like going back to Art. He left the outer office of the counselling center and headed back out to the courtyard where he had originally meant to spend lunch, seating himself beneath one of the trees and pulling out his sketchbook. He doodled aimlessly for a few moments, then realized that if he was going to have to write the thing for Art anyway he might as well do it immediately. And out here, he wouldn't be bugged by that crazy Ansem guy.

He worked on the mini-essay until the bell rang and people began to pour out of their respective classrooms, then got to his feet. He yawned and stretched his arms out as the hallways around the courtyard flooded with people, gathering his things and picking up his backpack.

Suddenly a blonde blur shot past him, wrapping one arm around his waist and pulling him along with it.

"Roxas!" Demyx said happily, releasing the shorter blonde's waist in favour of linking their arms together. "It's time for PE, it's time for PE, it's time for PE! We get to see everyone! It's seventh period! PE, PE!"

Roxas couldn't help but smile at Demyx's enthusiasm, though he shared none of it. PE had always been his least favourite class, just because it all seemed so pointless. Maybe this year would be different?

Nah. Probably not.

Demyx dragged Roxas halfway across the school to the gym, the pair barely making it to the door of the locker room before the electronic bells pealed. Roxas paled as they rounded the corner, entering what was soon to be known as his own personal level of hell.

First off, it smelled. Badly. Of old gym socks. Which, really, wasn't that surprising, considering that there were most likely many pairs of old gym socks rotting in lockers. Second of all, he was surrounded by ten out of the twelve members of the Organization. Neither Larxene nor the guy with long hair, Vexen, were there, though in Larxene's case the reason was quite apparent.

"So, Roxas, you survived everything HB High has to throw at you so far." A faint note of surprise tinged Axel's voice. "Your locker's over here, by the way. Riiiiight next to mine."

Roxas rolled his eyes at the 'coincidence' of it all. "And how might that have occurred?"

"Well, they're organized alphabetically, of course. By last name."

"Strife and…" Roxas prompted.

"Sexgod." Axel deadpanned as Demyx fell over laughing onto the nearest bench.

Roxas didn't even bother to respond, grabbing a lock from the basket at the center of the room and throwing it into his locker.

Demyx was laughing uncontrollably the entire time, but eventually he calmed down and wiped a tear from the corner of his eye as he sat up. "Roxas, you'll fit in fine. Come on, if you don't change out soon, we're going to be late!"

"And we wouldn't want that going on dear blondie's record on his first day of high school, would we?" The muffled voice came from a black shirt with red spikes sticking out of the top, but became clearer as the redhead pulled it haphazardly over his hair. "Damn. Dem, a little help?"

Demyx pulled his own shirt over his head slowly, making sure not to let the fabric touch his hair. "You idiot." Bouncing over to the redhead, Demyx fussed with his hair for a moment. Roxas turned away, feeling rather like he was intruding on a private moment.

"There. You're good." Demyx said, giving Axel a quick hug. "C'mon, Roxas! We're going to be late!" The blonde grabbed both Axel and Roxas' wrists, tugging them out of the locker room. Axel and Roxas traded slightly exasperated glances, but neither said a word.

As they got out to the gym Demyx released his death grip on their wrists, sauntering over to Zexion instead. Even in this class the quiet boy carried a book with him, though it was admittedly much smaller than the ones he had carried in Lit and at lunch. Roxas could see Demyx chatting animatedly to the slate-haired boy, though Zexion didn't seem to respond other than a nod or two, maybe uttering a rare monosyllable here or there.

"He's really not that bad, you know." Axel's voice startled Roxas. "Demyx, I mean." Axel had moved to lean back on the wall behind them, crossing his arms as he watched the pair of boys across the gym. "He's a really good friend, and he's a fun kid. You're lucky he likes you."

"What happened to 'I'm not sure I want to admit I know Demyx'? Roxas retorted.

"He's my best friend, you know." Axel said with a smile in his voice. "You have to admit, though, he can be fairly overwhelming at first.

Roxas smiled in spite of himself. "Yeah, I guess he can." Roxas sat down against the wall where Axel was leaning, looking up at the older boy. He felt even shorter than usual now, but at least now he had an excuse.

Axel sat down a moment after the blonde did, running a hand through his hair. "Dammit…" he muttered to himself. He turned to Roxas with a chagrined look on his face. "Did I mess up the spikes?"

"Oh, no you don't." Roxas said, holding his hands up in front of his face. "What could possibly make you think I know anything about hair? Go ask Demyx."

"Hey, you're the one whose hair is all perfectly gelled and piece-y." Axel said, turning away again. "How do you keep it that way, anyway?"

Roxas looked at the older boy in stunned silence.

"Oh, fine then, be bratty and don't tell me." Axel sighed dramatically, leaning his head back against the wall. "Dammit! Not again… man, I can't believe this."

"I gave up on my hair after the seventh grade." Roxas admitted grudgingly.

Axel whipped around, staring intently at Roxas' hair. "You've got to be kidding me"

"Uh, no. You think I do this on purpose?"

Axel's eyes widened. "So, no gel or anything?"

"No, nothing, dammit." Roxas said adamantly.

The redhead looked enviously from Roxas' hair to his own highly gelled locks and sighed dramatically. Reaching over, he poked the blonde's head cautiously.

"What the—" Roxas sputtered, batting away Axel's hand.

"No, no, come on, let me feel!"

"No, you—ahhh! Get off!" Roxas made an odd squeaking noise as Axel lunged at him, patting his head in search of gel. The two wrestled for a moment, then jumped apart as a shrill whistle echoed throughout the gym.

A man in very, very tight pants sauntered out into the gym. "Now, everyone, gather round, please."

He had hair about the same color as Xemnas', and he was wearing one of the most ridiculous and theatrical outfits Roxas had ever seen. This guy looked like a drama teacher, not a PE teacher.

Three girls popped out of the locker rooms, chasing after the man."Setzer! Mr. Setzer, Mr. Setzer! Seeeeeeeeeeeeet-zerrrrrrr!"

"Yes, yes, yes." Mr. Setzer bowed slightly, acknowledging his fangirls. "It's good to see you again, Razax, Axraz, Zaxra."

The girls squealed as their names escaped his lips, then turned to each other and jumped up and down in a circle. Roxas rolled his eyes at the spectacle, then looked back to the crazed pastel-wearing git who was his new PE teacher.

"…and then I pulled out my bat from behind my back, and with one final hit, I won the championships!" Setzer pantomimed the actions as he described them, glancing around the circle of students to make sure that everyone was gazing upon him with rapt attention. A few solitary 'ooohs' and 'aaahs' echoed from the students, but most of them looked very excessively bored.

Axel leaned over to Roxas and stage-whispered, "He tells the same stories every year. You get tired of them eventually."

"…and now, humble students, let us run a lap on the track! Follow me!" Setzer flipped his hair dramatically over his shoulder and led the class to one of the outer doors. His odd fangirls followed him, and the rest of the class looked at each other confusedly.

"That translates to a mile run, for the rest of you. Get out there." Axel proclaimed as soon as Setzer and his entourage had exited the gym. Most of the students filed out of the gym at that order, but a large number were still left. The Organization—with the exception of Vexen, who wasn't in this class—all stayed.

Roxas glanced about confusedly. "So… shouldn't we be out there?"

"Really, you're too cute." Larxene scoffed as she walked over. "Axel, can I keep him? He's just so adorable!"

"No, of course not, he's mine." Axel said absentmindedly, pulling a pen out of his pocket and scribbling something on his arm.

Roxas gaped at the redhead's words, but didn't have time to respond before Demyx tackled him. "Roxas! Come on, let's play volleyball! You too, Axel! And Zexion! Zexion, come on! Let's play a game!" Demyx bounded over to the quiet boy, pulling him away from his book and towards the center of the gym. As soon as Demyx's back was turned, Zexion returned to his corner to continue reading.

Axel walked over to the corner of the gym, BREAKing the lock on the supply closet with a kick. He pulled out the pieces of the volleyball net and carried them out to the center of the gym, kicking a volleyball out with him.

"Wait, so…" Roxas said confusedly. "What are we doing?"

Axel dropped the pieces of the volleyball net to frantically scribble more on his arm, his scrawls nearly covering the skin on his left arm at this point. "We're playing volleyball, of course. Larxene, you want to play?"

"Nah." The blonde said dismissively. "Lexaeus, Xaldin, time to spar." The three walked over to the south corner of the gym and began to fight, the petite girl somehow holding off the two burly men. Roxas gaped for a moment at the three—he could barely see Larxene move, she was so fast—and then turned back to where Demyx and Axel were arguing about how to put up the net.

Zexion closed his book reluctantly as Demyx yelled for him once again, and Axel gestured at Roxas to come over. The remaining members of the Organization were mostly just sitting around in the gym talking, eating, or reading books. Xemnas and Saix were nowhere to be seen, though Roxas knew that they were supposed to be in this class. So was Xigbar, but the crazed TA didn't seem like he'd remember that he had school, much less that he had PE seventh period.

Roxas walked over to Axel and Demyx, shaking his head slightly. This school was way too chaotic for him. "Hey, Roxas, do you want to settle something for us?" the pair chorused. Not bothering to wait for a response, they both began to speak. The loud babbling noise that ensued fully baffled Roxas.

After a few moments Axel trailed off, leaving Demyx rambling on about something else. "…see, I told him that your hair was fully gelled, but he says it's not, but it has to be, doesn't it?" Demyx said breathlessly, finally finishing what must have been the world's longest sentence.

"No. No gel. Don't touch my hair." Roxas said. He was getting a headache from all the people talking at him… at least the day was almost over. Pretty soon he could go home and just sleep.

A sudden smell of peroxide wafted over to where Roxas was standing, and he winced. This could only make his headache worse… where the hell was it coming from, anyway?

"Oi, Marluxia, what color is it going to be this time?" Axel yelled across the room. Marluxia was over by the water fountain trying to wash some sort of hair product out of his hair, presumably bleach.

"Hot pink, I think. It depends on how the semi takes." Marluxia shouted back. His voice was disturbingly deep for someone who spent that much time on his hair, really. Roxas couldn't remember what color his hair had been at lunch, but he was pretty sure it wasn't pink.

What a weird crowd.

Axel and Demyx finished setting up the volleyball net and began to pass the ball back and forth. Zexion joined in after a moment, and Roxas grudgingly entered the game as Axel and Demyx clamoured for him. They passed the greater part of the class just playing a casual game of volleyball, with the ball hitting the ceiling more often than actually being volleyed.

Roxas found himself grinning broadly at little things, like the weird noises Demyx made as he lunged for the ball, the habit Zexion had of blocking the ball from hitting him by pulling out another book, or Axel's tendency to yell 'Mine, mine!' really loudly and then let the ball go past him.

The game was tied at thirteen all when Mr. Setzer and the rest of the class came back, their eyes tearing from the bleach fumes. Setzer dismissed the class back to their respective changing rooms, and the students gladly exited the gym in favour of the locker rooms. At least old gym socks were better than bleach.

As they walked back into the classroom, Axel and Demyx came up behind Roxas. "So, blondie…" Axel said casually. "You survived your first day of HB High. What do you think so far?"

"You're all insane." Roxas muttered. He actually quite liked it, but he didn't want to let Axel know that.

Demyx pouted at this, widening his eyes as he jutted out his lower lip. "But you love us, riiiiight?"

"I barely know you."

Axel snorted dismissively. "Oh, psh. Details."

Demyx and Axel talked until the bell rang, comparing gossip about teachers and students alike. Roxas simply listened to them, picking up more random facts about his teachers in the space of three minutes than he thought he ever would again. And most of them really weren't things he had ever wanted to know.

He grabbed his backpack and exited the locker rooms after most of the other boys were already gone, making his way out to the front of the school. He sat there for a few moments, then pulled out his iPod. He was just setting up a playlist he actually wanted to listen to when someone tapped him on the shoulder.

"Hey, you, blonde person." Xigbar said, shoving his face into Roxas'.

Roxas slid away from the crazed senior a little bit. "It's Roxas."

"Whatever. I'm going to be a DJ!"

Roxas continued to slide away until he reached the end of the bench.

"Do think DJ Xiggy or DJ X-Bar sounds better?"

Roxas scooted as close against the wall as he could.

"If I'm DJ Xiggy, I can be like 'GETTIN XIGGY WIT IT! I can't think of any cool catchphrases for X-Bar, though." Xigbar began to beatbox, spitting all over Roxas. The blonde finally got up and just walked off, sitting across the courtyard. Xigbar continued to beatbox (badly) and then tried to rap along with his own beatboxing. He failed epicly, of course.

Roxas kept a wary eye on Xigbar until Cloud pulled up on his motorcycle, then sighed in relief. He checked the straps of his backpack to make sure it wouldn't go flying off on the highway, then hopped on behind his uncle.

"So, Roxas, how was your day?" Cloud asked cheerfully.

**

* * *

****Oh dear lord.**

So, are you worried yet? Because you really should be. Considering that all of this randomness is actually what occurs inside my brain. Originally the PE scenes were going to be much odder than they already are… I guess I'll save those scenes for other chapters. I really wanted there to be one place where the Organization were all together, so I managed to come up with the whole PE-as-graduation-requirement thing.

Oh, and Setzer's fangirls are based off of a friend of mine. Who quite likes him. Her name is Zara, and she and I were coming up with Nobody names for ourselves (mine is quite difficult, by the way) and those were three of the ones she came up with for her own name. Just thought I'd let you guys know.

Oh, and on the side, I'm working on a lot of other stuff. Three AkuRokus, one Zemyx, a ZoSan, and some other stuff. If you've got any idea of what you'd like to pop up on your alert list soonest, leave me a review and let me know, okay?

Oh, and I've got big plans for this fic. Lots of them. And I just want to warn you now, this will be the longest chapter ever. Simply because it gives you a quick overview of Roxas' entire day… I swear, they will never again be like this. Never ever. I think.

…I'm sorry if you liked this. I guess really I should be asking you guys what you want… would you rather have crazily long chapters like this, or shorter chapters? Do you like the random little interludes? Because I can totally leave them out if you don't like them. Let me know if you get a chance… I'd love to hear your feedback!

**Much love—**

**The Authoress.**


	2. Day Two

**A/N: **OH HAI GAIZ, I HAZ UPDAETD!

- -

A loud burst of techno hit Roxas over the head (in a metaphorical sense) as the digital numbers changed from 5:59 to 6:00, and the blonde let out a muffled groan. Said groan was muffled due to the pillow he shoved his face into in an effort to avoid the music currently attacking him with a hammer. Of the sledge variety. All of a sudden he really regretted not following Cloud's advice—the older blonde had suggested that he start getting up earlier in the last few weeks of summer. Roxas had quite effectively managed to ignore this advice and continue to sleep in until ten at the very earliest.

Yup, he was regretting that right about now. His radio was still blasting, and as he fumbled around on his nightstand his door opened with an ominous squeak (assuming that an ominous squeak is even within the realm of possibility, of course).

"You're not going to find your clock there, you know." Cloud said quietly before flipping the switch that turned on Roxas' overhead light; he then walked off silently.

Roxas pulled another pillow over his head in a vain attempt to block out all visual & aural stimuli, his hand still roving frantically over the wooden surface. When its owner finally realized that the source of noise was, indeed, somewhere other than the table, the hand slumped dejectedly onto the table with an odd thumping noise. It took some pretty mad skills for a hand to do anything dejectedly—but then, Roxas was just one of those teenage boys who did indeed possess such mad skills.

Despite the mad skills of our dear main character, he was completely unable to muster the willpower to rouse himself. In this situation, there are many possible outcomes. Some guardians (generally the 'gentle' and 'caring' type) would let Roxas sleep in, then wait for him to wake up on his own and greet him with a plate of warm waffles as he stumbled out to the kitchen in his pajamas. Some guardians (the 'don't care' type) would leave well enough alone, go to work, and let Roxas do whatever the hell he wanted for the day. Still another type of guardian (the 'this is what's best for you' type) would most likely rip the sheets off the bed and stick a bowl of cold cereal in front of the blonde, then throw him into the car and take him to school.

Cloud took a bottle of ice water from the fridge and poured it on the small of Roxas' back.

The resulting girlish scream was heard throughout the entire apartment complex; it woke many of the neighbours and resulted in several angry phone calls from those who enjoyed their morning tea in their mugs and not in their laps.

- -

Roxas practically fell into his Chem class as the bell rang, really wishing he had tea, coffee, Coke—anything with that glorious substance known as caffeine in it, for Chrissakes.

Just as he had the day before, Roxas stumbled and stuttered his way through most of the class; he wasn't able to understand the questions being asked, much less present an acceptable answer. Of course, this situation was exacerbated by his lack of consciousness, but he couldn't really do anything about that. He didn't even have his crazy redhead of a tablemate—admittedly, Axel knew his shit (and was happy to surreptitiously get Roxas the answer when he needed it). Roxas almost found himself missing the redhead, in an absurd sort of way.

Until Axel himself swaggered into the classroom with a smug grin and a can of Mountain Dew. Then Roxas settled back in his seat with a dark look on his face.

"Axel." Leonhart turned from the board, his expression boding no good fortune for the student who arrived neither late nor groveling.

"Leonhart." Axel said, mimicking Leonhart's tone.

Leonhart merely started silently, then picked up a set of papers. "Late as you are, can you tell me the number of half-filled orbitals in an atom of chromium?"

Axel merely sipped his Mountain Dew in a most impertinent manner.

"I thought not." Leonhart's voice betrayed the slightest triumph as he turned back to his chalkboard. "Take a seat."

Axel began to walk back to his seat, trading glances with a few choice classmates as he did so. "Six," the redhead proclaimed casually as he slid into his seat "Hello, Roxas. Buttsex?"

Roxas, jolted out of his exhaustion-induced reverie, uttered a rather insanely high-pitched noise. "WHAT?!"

"Just checking to see if you were actually awake or not. Mountain Dew, my sleeping beauty?"

Roxas grumbled something inaudibly as he accepted the can Axel pulled from his messenger bag; both boys were completely ignoring Leonhart's ban of food and drink in the lab (Roxas had forgotten, while Axel simply didn't care).

"Y'know, you owe me for that now." Axel commented just as Roxas took his first sip of soda.

Roxas sputtered angrily, managing to spew said first sip all over the table. "What the hell do you mean by that?"

"Can't say that I know." Axel said innocently, a rather devilish smile playing over his lips.

Roxas ignored him, simply taking another sip. He checked the clock, then began to pack up his things. Axel gave him a rather strange glance, but Roxas kept ignoring the junior.

"Uh, Roxas?" Axel said, a quizzical expression appearing on his face. "What are you doing?"

"Packing up. Clearly."

The redhead laughed, then shook his head. "God, you're cute. It's Wednesday, blondie."

"So?"

"So we don't get out until 9. Double period blocks. Third period goes until 10:35, and fifth until… I want to say twelve something. Probably 12:10. Then we have lunch, then 7th period goes until 2.30. It's Wednesday."

Leonhart barely glanced to the back of the room as Roxas' head collided violently with his desk—Axel's tablemates generally ended up that way.

For once, it had less to do with Axel than he thought. Roxas had just realized that he had Leonhart, Norrington, Sparrow, and Setzer. All in the same damn day.

Roxas was really thinking it couldn't get any worse when Xigbar skipped into the room with a basket of daisies and began strewing them around… while beatboxing.

- -

Roxas stumbled out of Chemistry sneezing and with tears streaming from his eyes—he really, really hated his allergies, and daisies definitely aggravated them. Surprisingly enough, he managed to make it to Norrington's classroom without dying.

Sort of.

A mad blur of blonde attacked him in the hall, nearly knocking him over with an enthusiastic embrace. Roxas still couldn't see anything, but from the insane squeal that accompanied the hug Roxas deduced that it might possibly be Demyx.

"Roxas!" The blonde exclaimed, hugging him again. "Thank god I found you! Norrington's giving a pop quiz today and I wasn't paying any attention to what we did yesterday. How do you do geometric proofs?"

Roxas stuttered a bit at the idea of a pop quiz on the second day of the year, but was getting out his notes as the bell rang.

"Never mind, I'll fail it as always!" Demyx said happily, then darted into the classroom and took a seat. Roxas stepped in gingerly, then realized that Norrington wasn't in there and hastily took a seat.

"It's not a real quiz." Larxene proclaimed to the room. Roxas turned around in his seat and looked confusedly at her. "I've taken it twice already, blondie."

"You're blonder than I am!" Roxas retorted indignantly. "What do you mean, it isn't a real quiz?"

"You'll see." Larxene said, a smirk rapidly appearing on her face. "And I just picked it up from Axel; blame him."

Norrington strode into the room, a sheaf of papers in his hands. "Class, a pop quiz. Put everything on your desks away other than a pen."

"What about pencils?" inquired a student from the back of the class.

The professor merely glared in response, then turned. "Mistakes are unacceptable and will not be permitted within my class. All work is to be done in pen; if any mistakes are made, you must start over at the beginning and re-copy your answer."

Roxas blanched. He did his best when he could work and re-work through a problem—this usually resulted in eraser shavings all over his desk and those of his neighbours. Clearly this wasn't going to work in Norrington's class.

Norrington raised a hand for silence, and the few students who had dared whisper to a friend ceased immediately. "You have until the end of class. Begin."

_Question One_, Roxas read to himself. _How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator?_

_- -_

It was all very strange, Roxas realized as he walked to French: he felt rather as if he'd fallen down the rabbit hole and ended up in Wonderland. _Roxas in Wonderland. _He smiled in spite of himself, then opened the door to room 904.

It was complete chaos. Nearly every book was turned on its side, upside down, or dropped on its spine; pages seemed to be randomly torn from textbooks and strewn about the room. The teacher was sitting in the midst of the chaos mumbling to himself as he flipped through the last intact book.

"Mr. Sparrow?" Roxas said, cautiously stepping into the room. "Are you…"

"Out!" the dreadlocked man said, then turned back to his book. "No one can find it unless they know where it is… and if they've forgotten…"

"Is everything…"

"BARBOSSA!" Sparrow screamed. "That bastard stole my rum!"

« Excusez-moi, professeur ? » Riku asked, standing in the open door behind Roxas.

"Don't talk that pansy language at me, boy! Fetch me some rum!"

Riku stood stupidly in the door, then ventured a glance at Roxas. "Do you…"

Roxas just smiled meanly. He wasn't about to give Riku any help after the way the silver-haired boy had acted yesterday. It might have been just a little bit mean-spirited, but Roxas didn't feel too bad.

"Here's your rum, Captain," Yuffie said as she slipped between the two boys. "And I'd like to suggest that we have a quick field trip to the courtyard for today's class."

"Not without my personal effects," Sparrow got to his feet and grabbed a crumpled hat off the desk, then looked around confusedly for his sword.

"Right here." Yuffie said, brandishing what looked like a fairly ancient sword. "And your pistol is underneath the third stack of books from the right."

"Very well then." Sparrow stumbled drunkenly to the door. "A wedding! I love weddings!"

"No one's getting married, Captain." Yuffie said as she propped him up on the doorframe. "Unless Roxas and Riku have kissed and made up…"

"No!" Both boys half-yelled the denial, and Yuffie smirked at them. "Thought not."

"Very well then. Drinks all 'round!"

- -

As Yuffie had planned, the rest of the class was spent in the courtyard under the trees or on the benches; no actual French was in any way learned, spoken, or even thought about during the class. Except for Riku, and, really, Roxas tried not to think about him too much.

Roxas had mainly kept to himself as they were outside, though Yuffie had come over and talked with him for part of it. She spent most of the class mollifying their crazy teacher: he seemed to have an endless capacity for drinking rum in copious quantities, though somehow Yuffie had managed to get him to branch out into vodka. How Yuffie (an underage minor whose license had been revoked) had been getting all of the liquor on school grounds no one knew—but then, no one really wanted to know either. She was taking bribes to bring more in for lunch, but Roxas didn't bother. He knew Axel and Larxene would probably already have had plenty by lunch; they didn't need any more.

On the subject of lunch, he was starting to get hungry. He would have asked someone when lunch started, but… he was curled up in the sun using his backpack as a pillow, and he really didn't feel like moving. He'd forgotten how much he loved being in the sunshine. Cloud had signed him up for volunteer hours and a job all of the last summer, and almost everything he'd done had been inside.

A shadow fell over his face. "Bit late to be working on your tan, blondie. Summer's come and gone." There was no mistaking Axel's voice, nor the shadow he cast as Roxas opened his eyes.

"I woke up at six this morning. Piss off." Roxas groaned, batting a hand at Axel's leg and then closing his eyes again. He was duly rewarded when his sunny spot returned, though his happiness at that was quickly mitigated by Axel lying down next to him.

"Scoot over a little, would ya?"

Roxas rolled his eyes, but since they were still closed, no one noticed. "Use your own backpack."

"I left it in my locker. C'mon, just scoot over a little bit."

Roxas moved a scant inch.

"Fine then. Lift up your head for a second, would ya?" This time Roxas complied, then tensed up as Axel's arm snaked underneath his neck. "Much better."

The blonde would have protested normally, but he was too damn tired to argue and just settled back onto Axel's shoulder. It was nice, sort of. In a kind of weird, cuddly way. Axel's shoulder was pretty bony, but it didn't really matter. Roxas closed his eyes again and did something that was very close to snuggling up to the older boy, though he would never admit it.

It was then, of course, that he heard Yuffie whispering ferociously at someone, saying something about putting the damn camera away. Roxas sat bolt upright with a look of shock on his face; said look was of course captured by no one other than Riku.

The bastard.

- -

Roxas ate lunch in the courtyard with Axel, Demyx, and Larxene—the only members of the Organization who had second lunch on Wednesdays—and spent more time laughing than he cared to admit, considering how much he hated them when he thought about it. Demyx was surprisingly easy to talk to, especially if you could get him to shut up for more than a minute. Larxene was her usual condescending self, but she was actually very interesting if you ignored all of the subtle digs. And Axel was… pretty cool. Apparently he was really into art, and Roxas found out that most of the time Axel's arms were covered in notes on what would become his next piece.

As lunch was coming to an end, Roxas realized that he should probably duck. Unfortunately for him, he realized this just a tad too late, and was tackled by a squealing blonde for the second—or was it the third?—time that day. It didn't matter that Demyx had spent the whole period eating lunch with Roxas; he was still just as exuberant as always.

"PE, PE, PE! We're going to PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Demyx sang at the top of his lungs.

Roxas followed after the crazy blonde, casting a desperate glance at Larxene and Axel, both of whom were following behind. He'd realized yesterday that if you were getting towed around by Demyx, everyone either gave you odd looks or jealous looks. Most of the jealous looks came from girls, though there were definitely a few guys eyeing Roxas' place enviously.

"Why do you like PE so much, anyway?" Roxas yelled over the chaos of the hall. Demyx didn't seem to hear him, so he gave up until they reached the locker room. They were actually on time, which Roxas thought was rather nice.

Until the bell rang. Then Roxas realized that the locker room echoed. Badly. Demyx had already plugged his ears, but Roxas hadn't even thought of that until after they stopped. His ears were still ringing as the rest of the class got there, and he didn't even hear Axel at first.

"…said, are you used to him yet?"

"No, not at all."

Roxas changed in silence while Axel and Demyx continued a talk from the lunch period—he wasn't even paying attention to what was going on around him. This day had been fully exhausting.

Once they got out to the gym, the majority of the Organization was skipping, so it was just Zexion (who had never missed a class in his life, nor participated in PE), Demyx , Axel, Larxene, Marluxia, and Roxas. Marluxia spent the majority of the period attempting to lighten his hair colour in the girls' bathroom (because apparently hot hot pink was just too hot), Axel, Demyx, and Larxene had a lovely conversation about… well, something. Roxas didn't know, because Roxas was fully exhausted by his fully exhausting day.

And fell asleep until the last bell of the day.

- -

**A/N: **Epic tired. Epic fail. Epic gragh.

Read my profile and take my poll if you want more of any of this crap I call my writing.


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